Hieronder een bloemlezing van een paar van mijn favoriete rhymes.
Voornamelijk ridicule en dagdagelijkse teksten.
1. Introducing MC Karel
Yo I’m MC Karel and I don’t give a shit.4. I Forget Nothing, I Regret Everything
I’m a really bad rapper so just deal with it, man!
Everyday I think about a subject I can rap on,
but mostly I just watch movies of girls with a strap-on.
There's half a pizza on the couch, but I'm not really hungry now.6. I Am Edgar Allan Poe
I can't have breakfast anymore and lunch just makes me throw up more.
So I just drink a ton of coffee and it works a treat.
And I eat a grilled cheese sandwich that I left on my bed sheets.
Got no money left so I decide to stay the fuck inside,
so I don't have to deal with all the shit that I did wrong last night.
My brain is sick. My stomach's fucked. I hate my life. Another beer.
He's pretty famous nowadays, not like back in the days8. Chicks Rule Everything Around Me
when his fans were overseas: they were the poètes maudits.
They were the symbolist guys, but not the simplest guys.
See, I just wanna fuck you fucking motherfucking senseless9. You're A Flower, I'm An Elevator
but also I would like to know your name.
I'm looking forward to your kisses on my mouth and on my penis
and I will kiss you too cause that would be insane.
You're a special girl to me cause you're my best fuck of the night
and you can go now but I'm hoping that you'll stay.
I started liking you a lot, it's like love at first sight
but actually to me it's just a game.
Well, maybe we should meet again sometime, alright?
Cause our favourite bands are pretty much the same
We won't be together all of the time, though,
cause you'll think that I'm pretty lame.
There's nobody like me. Nobody likes me.
They say opposites attract but that only works for me.
And addition by substraction has never been my thing.
I just sit inside watching Cars and crying in my beer.
And if I'm really lucky then I'll see you in my dreams tonight.
Super persoonlijke shit eigenlijk. Soms gevaarlijk waarheidsgetrouw.
1. I'm Not A Boob
Some nights I hate the weather, some nights I hate the world.
(...)3. Where Is My Heart And Why Did You Take It?
My life's a mess when I'm alone but also when they are around,
my life's an upward fucking spiral but I'm stumbling down.
I got my heart on my sleeve and it is fading away.
I wish I'd gotten it tattooed so maybe then it would stay.
I got a A4 full of problems in a really small font size
There's just a couple of girls in the whole wide world4. I Like You But You Don't Like (Against) Me!
who set my heart on hold and I think that they stole it,
cause I didn't get it back as far as I know
and now my chest has a hole in it.
I have concerns growing out of proportion in my head.5. I Don't Care About The Pictorial Turn, Dude
Guess I got issues just like everybody else here. That's weird.
I don't have a problem with my sexuality, but I kinda make an issue of my sex frequency.
I'm not really frustrated cause I'm happy masturbating but I can't just hug my penis and I can't take it out for dinner.
And that stinks cause I like to do those things. I like kisses of the cheek. I like silly conversations.
But I'm reluctant to relations cause I don't know how they work and mostly I've seen them falling into fractions.
- Sometimes I think that guys are pretty sexy.
- A lot of times I like being alone.
- I'm a jerk most of the time cause I don't know how to act.
- And I ponder way too long about the things that have been done.
- Sometimes I stare at girls and I feel super creepy.
- And when I talk to them I'm probably picturing them naked.
- I'm chronically nostalgic and that bothers me a bit.
- But I just wanna tell you this to prove that I don't fake it.
I'm just a guy and I lost my clue about this place, this time, this face.
I'm in a mental race. It's not the case that I am a complete nutcase,
but it may be a phase that I feel this way,
like being gay is supposed to be a phase as well.
But it's just a preference of banging someone else with the same genitals.
I think that's super natural and if you're heterosexual that's also cool as hell.
I'm just a guy and I'm stuck in a rut these days.
I'm fucking lazy, so lazy I forget to be crazy.
I used to be out of my mind but hitting 20 made me blind.
Got left behind by myself. I put myself on the shelf.
Now I'm sitting there, watching everyone I know go on with their lives like it's all sorted out.
think it's hard to be proud when you're so strung out by doubt,
but I should stop comparing myself to the crowd.
Mijn laatste album, een mooie mengeling van persoonlijke shit en entertainende shit.
7. Consent Is V. Important
Except for you, cause you're really hot. I got a soft spot and a hard spot for you.8. I'm Not A Person Person
(...)
Do you remember when you said that I was different than the rest?
And I just leaned back - head smacked - I said "You too." and left it at that - man!
What was I thinking? Probably nothing - I was probably just drinking again.
And I probably should've said that you mess me up bad.
I even made a mixtape that started with that phrase - yes.
I got it all figured out - false. I got it all planned out - false.
But I'm scared of what can happen if I don't act now.
It's never too late, but it's taking me so long to ask you on a date,
cause I'm shy, insecure and most of all I'm pretty stupid.
And I ain't no Romeo, no, I sure as hell ain't Cupid.
I got all these strange thoughts and ideas I never ought to have9. Monoamourous
and you're the reason why I stop to think sometimes and lose my head
and never finish sentences and never use a period
and "I ain't got no fucking sense", that's what the dude from Teenage Head said.
There's some things that you said that I can't seem to forget
or get out of my head while I should be studying or reading instead
and not going to bed before 2 AM but shit, your words just drive me mad.
I got a girly thing for romance and a romantic thing for girls.10. Feel Like Shit/Die Like Shit
But my genitals are a no-man's land, that's for sure.
I got no dry spell, I got a dry fucking curse.
It's the worst. “Hello? Can someone help me out in here?”
There's a million tiny demons that are taking on my brain.11. MC Karel's Instructional Guide To Being A Fool
They're really small and really weak but somehow they got in,
and they make me feel like I'm a dickhead, I am failing, I'm a dingbat.
I'm losing everything I had. I'm driving myself mad. Fuck.
Don't fuck. Don't smoke. Don't make no jokes, don't laugh.15. Satan, Stay Out Of This
Don't realise you're almost broke.
Don't flirt. Don't get ahead in life.
Don't dance. Don't take chances, don't take life in your own handses.
I open up my Digiport. Suddenly I'm not so bored. Fuck the world, I'm a Digidestined tonight.16. There's No U In Team Either, Fuckwad
I meet all of my Digifriends, travel through the Digilands. For 20 minutes I'm a Digidestined, alright!
I'm in Vermillion City, I'm on the S.S. Anne.
Just as I walk off the boat, the captain fucking leaves, man.
I got no plans, so I walk around town like a lost kid,
talking to these strangers, they're all pointing me to the Diglett Cave.
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